---

Kursa wrote:

I tried to wake my kitty up but it wont move.

 

I put him on the bed and he just lays there. I put him on the table and he does not stir

I put him on the chair and without movement of breath little patches just lays there. Slumped over like a piece of leather

 

Little Patches isn't sleeping Mr Developer Man. Little Patches is dead. He's cold to the touch and now I can't get his left rear paw down...it's sticking up and doing weird stuff

---

---

Demye wrote:

I'm so glad the server is down so I could read this thread. I am laughing sooooo hard. Great post Vobe!

Devs, please add the Patches gravestone. Pretty please.

---

---

Brizzy wrote:
Kursa: 'Ello, Miss?
Cat Salesman: What do you mean "miss"?
Kursa: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!
Cat Salesman: We're closin' for lunch.
Kursa: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this kitty what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.
Cat Salesman: Oh yes, the, uh, the Persian...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?
Kursa: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!
Cat Salesman: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.
Kursa: Look, matey, I know a dead kitty when I see one, and I'm looking
at one right now.
Cat Salesman: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable cat, the Persian, idn'it, ay? Beautiful fur!
Kursa: The fur don't enter into it. It's stone dead.
Cat Salesman: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!
Kursa: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up! (shouting at the cage) 'Ello, Mister kitty kitty! I've got a lovely fresh pepper for you if you show...(Cat Salesman hits the cage)
Cat Salesman: There, he moved!
Kursa: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage!
Cat Salesman: I never!!
Kursa: Yes, you did!
Cat Salesman: I never, never did anything...
Kursa: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO KITTY!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!
(Takes kitty out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)
Kursa: Now that's what I call a dead kitty.
Cat Salesman: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!
Kursa: STUNNED?!?
Cat Salesman: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Persians stun easily, major.
Kursa: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That kitty is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged stretch.
Cat Salesman: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the Isle of Refuge.
Kursa: PININ' for the ISLE OF REFUGE?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?
Cat Salesman: The Persian prefers keepin' on it's back! Remarkable cat, id'nit, squire? Lovely fur!
Kursa: Look, I took the liberty of examining that kitty when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting in the cage in the first place was that it had been NAILED there.
(pause)
Cat Salesman: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that cat down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its paws, and VOOM! Feeweeweewee!
Kursa: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this cat wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!
Cat Salesman: No no! 'E's pining!
Kursa: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This kitty is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the cage 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-KITTY!!
(pause)
Cat Salesman: Well, I'd better replace it, then.
(he takes a quick peek behind the counter)
Cat Salesman: Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh, we're right out of kittys.
Kursa: I see. I see, I get the picture.
Cat Salesman: I got a gnoll.
(pause)
Kursa: (sweet as sugar) Pray, does it purr?
Cat Salesman: Just mutters something about ruining our lands.
Kursa: WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!?
Cat Salesman: They should have a cat at the pet shop in Nektulos Forest.
Kursa: Right.

---